“I would do ____________________________ if I could but I can’t because ____________________.”
Everything that comes after “because” in that sentence is a limiting belief.
Of course, I’m over simplifying things a bit, which is unusual for me because Heaven knows I can over think and complicate things with the best of them. I’m practicing though how not to, so bear with me.
*ahem* Okay, so as I was writing, everything after “because” is a limiting belief; it’s what the survival part of the brain / psyche tells us to keep us safe from things we’ve more than likely unconsciously identify as “life threateningly dangerous.” For me, that would be ridicule, not fitting in, being abandoned or left out of the popular social group.
My survival brain wants me to avoid ANY and EVERY behavior, activity, or experience it perceives (as I unconsciously taught it over the years), will put me in a position where any of those things can happen.
But here’s the rub. When we give in to limiting beliefs, we often end up NOT living life to our fullest levels of joy, pleasure, etc. And surprisingly enough, we still end up in situations where we experience “proof” of our limiting beliefs. In my case, no matter how “safely” I played the game, I was still rejected sometimes, I was still shut out from the ‘cool kids’ table, I was still ‘abandoned’ by people I liked, loved, looked up to, etc. Living safe didn’t stop the events, it just stopped me from actively BEING in the world.
When I realized that, I got pissed about all of the aspects of myself I’d let wither; all of the genuine joy bringing experiences I’d skipped. And that to me, was just as painful as the ridicule, rejection, abandonment, and such that I’d experienced.
I’ve since learned, there is a natural ebb and flow to relationships – human interactions, that some people just won’t “get” me, be they family or not, whether I want them to or not. Not all social groups are good for me despite how ‘cool’ they seem and the bottom line there is I’m just going to stop hustling for approval and acceptance.
Instead, I’m taking deep, intentional looks at my limiting beliefs. I’m putting practices into place to train my survivor brain that those beliefs are false threats to my existence. As much emotional and sometimes physical pain rejection, being teased, or etc. that I’ve had, they haven’t in the past, nor will they in the future, kill me. There are scars for sure, but those scars remind me that I can survive and HEAL, that I’m strong and will continue to thrive regardless.
So yeah, I’m YouTubing now, I’m actively offering my books and services. I’m setting myself up essentially to receive negative comments, rejection, and such. As I live more authentically – true to my joy (wearing my vampire fangs to a party, per se) – I risk being put out of my current social circles. Will it hurt? Yes. Will I survive? Yes. So why not live my truth and feel the joy as well as the pain?
Hopefully my survivor brain can then turn its efforts to protecting me from the real threats, like spiders. Save me from those, will ya?!
Sending love and light,
Be sure to check me out on YouTube and stop by the website…the more the merrier, eh? Also, as always, I invite you to leave a comment below – let me know what you think about today’s post. Do you have some limiting beliefs of your own that you’d like to work passed? How are you going about it?