Another revelatory round of Morning Pages. Check this out. I have come back to my home town every year since I moved away in 2005. I started coming back to do writer’s events in 2010. It has snowed every trip back with the exception of the one time I came back during a summer to take my daughter to a (no rude jokes please) band camp. I moved to Georgia in 2005 – it has snowed in Georgia to some extent every year I’ve lived in there. What is the deal with the snow, I wondered.
Another little bit of background. I used to not be concerned with snow or the cold. Even when I had to get out in it to go to school. It was an inconvenience but still nothing that bothered me much. Then one afternoon, one of many where I’d manged to lose my house key, I came home from the bus stop and no one was home. It was COLD out. I had on my ‘good’ winter coat, a lovely velvet – maxi length coat that was all the rage back in that day. It was heavy, but not long term cold heavy. Anyway, I sat on the porch for awhile in the fading light of the winter day. When it got dark, I huddled in the recess between the front door and the wall. I don’t remember how long I was there. I got home from the bus at maybe, 3:30pm. It was full dark when my mom and sister finally pulled up. I’ll never forget, my sister, when she got out of the car said, “Hey look mom, we’ve got a package. No wait, that’s Dana.” They opened the door and got me inside. Shortly after, I began to cry because my hands and feet hurt so bad; my sister had me holding my hands under warming running water. I don’t remember much of the rest of the evening. I can tell you that like most women I know, I tend to stay cold. And once my hands and feet get cold, you can pretty much hang it up. I’ve never had a pair of gloves that kept my hands warm since that incident. Suffice to say, snow and cold are NOT my forte.
So, why has the snow followed me around? Here’s where I get to the point of this post. After this morning’s Morning Pages, I think it happens as a reminder to find the beauty, I’m using beauty as a general term, in every moment. When I stopped complaining this morning, just stopped and listened, I was reminded of how beautiful this city can be when under a blanket of cold, but crystal, sparkling, snow. How spiritually cleansing the silence of a snowed in city is – when every sound is muffled, the skies are of HD clarity, the stars overhead shining like cliched diamonds. The Source exists in those moments for me, without a doubt.
I am reminded by this snow fall to find the beauty in my fear, in the uncomfortable moments. Not every day is going to be peace-ful so sometimes, in my discomfort, I will need to look beyond the cold, the pain, the unease – I will need to reach deep, beyond the surface, and find the beauty. That is the reason it snows.
Sending love and light,