(I’m feeling like the whale in this video. Everyone’s taking a bite while I float helpless. Head’s up, the video isn’t all that gooey, but still pretty graphic in a circle of life kind of way)
Search for some place to move to…
Like Waldo in the pic above, finding a suitable place is proving to be way more difficult than I imagined. Why not stay where I am, you ask? The drug dealer next door and his buddies; the domestic violence incidents; my landlady is a tad intrusive; I’m a gypsy at heart and I’ve already lived here longer than I imagined I would; some one else is already set up to move in as soon as I move out. I have a limited budget and in today’s market, that means less than stellar digs in neighborhoods worse than the one I’m in now. If I want some place CLEAN, in a decent neighborhood, and not more than an hour’s drive from the job or the grocery store – on a good day, with no traffic / accidents mucking up the commute – then I’m going to have to take on a paying room mate (and not the twenty-somethings that currently share my living space. I’m doing my parental due diligence and keeping them from being homeless vagabonds while they supposedly save up enough money to get their own place – they share in my search dilemma). I cannot believe what people are paying in rents these days.
I guess too I could start looking to buy a house but that’s another level of commitment I don’t want to have nor do I think I can afford. Not if I want some place CLEAN, in a decent neighborhood…etc.
But I’m stuck in just about every other area of my life until I get these two issues resolved.
I feel as if I’m slowly going crazy.
Sort of similar to Natalie Portman’s character in Black Swan without the blood, guts, and making out with another woman.
Or maybe The Narrator in Fight Club…only without the beating myself up, stealing lipo-leftovers to make soap, and blowing up buildings. Although, there is a part of me that feels like that may be the way to go. Empty buildings of course. Don’t want to add the guilt that murder would leave me with into the mix. Then I really would go nuts.
Perhaps if I could just get some restful sleep…