I’ve Fallen…But I Will Get Up

All it takes is one moment of reluctance and BAM, off the wagon I go. You see, I didn’t want to break into my savings to cover groceries, so I didn’t go to the grocery store. My ingredients on hand did not allow for adequate food prep for the entire week so here I sit, having to use up at least one more of the 10 meals I set aside for those days when I knew I’d be out and about and unable to cook / eat at home.  We won’t even go into how much money eating out um, “chews” up in my budget, or the amount of additional and often useless fat and calories it adds to the day. I missed breakfast this morning, haven’t had any water, skipped my morning walk in favor of tackling my to-do list at work, and have spent money I didn’t want to spend.

SIGH.

On the exercise side of the fence, there’s PAIN and FEAR of INJURY controlling my decisions. I’ve done fine meeting my yoga goal for the week (3xs) but I’ve admittedly missed a couple of walks so far because of pain in my knees and lower back (right side specifically). I’ve completely skipped the body weight exercise routine because push-ups hurt my wrists, squats hurt my knees and ankles. I’m afraid the pain means I’m about to injure myself (again) and for some reason, that thought freaks me right out. I don’t remember having this kind of fear before. Is it related to my age?

EVEN BIGGER SIGH.

I’m coming up on the close of Challenge Week 1 and quite frankly, I’m disheartened it took me just four days before I (perhaps being a bit overly dramatic here, but it feels as I) crashed and burned. I’m down but I’m not ‘out’, of course. Just don’t seem to be able to help drawing a parallel between this and my years in school. I came close to flunking out the first years spent at each new level (7th grade – start of Jr. High School, back before Denver switched to the middle school concept; 10th grade – start of high school; freshman year, college).  It’s been the same each year since I first tried to change my health habits.  I get going then some how I get derailed.

MOTHER TRUCKIN’ SON’S O’BISCUITS.

I just don’t get why life for me cycles this way. It’s annoying. But, if we use my academic performance as the example, then I’m destined to rebound and pull myself out of the slump. My 9th, 12th, and last year and a half of college I earned straight A’s – both semesters.  Don’t suppose this has to end up being different. Yeah, okay, so week one had a hiccup. No stress. Just gotta set myself up for success for week 2.

Stones before starships. Keep the faith in myself and The Force (Universe, Goddess, God, Buddha, Allah, The Ancestors, etc.)

GOT IT.

4 thoughts on “I’ve Fallen…But I Will Get Up

  1. It sounds to me that you are a success once you get into the swing of things. You do things slowly, but with intention, which in the long run can only help you. I’m always fascinated by the way in which you plan out your life, I’m so much more of a free spirit about such things. Yet, you prove, that your way succeeds. Hang in there.

    1. Watching you clock the steps is motivation enough, lol. But thanks – perhaps after this first NF Challenge, I’ll come up with something for my FitBit friends. A “Step-Off” maybe, lol.

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