Prepare to be in pain.

Does any of this sound familiar?

This is going to hurt. It’s going to be uncomfortable and I’m going to be embarrassed. I’m going to fail, I’m going to make mistakes.  I’m going to be in pain some of the time.  There may be tears, and most certainly frustration. Some may try to sabotage, others may turn their heads in indifference. What’s so ridiculous is I’ve been in this position many times before. At the beginning of change, afraid of what it’s going to feel like, be like; completely unaware of how things would turn out. I felt the fear and did it anyway.

But now, I’m ruled by my fear. Fear of pain (emotional and physical), death, poverty, retaliation, racial and gender discrimination resulting in physical abuse, being ridiculed…FEAR.  It keeps me from doing things I’m passionate about. How silly is that?

This is going to hurt. I’m going to be uncomfortable and in pain. I’m going to be laughed at, make mistakes, fail and fall down. I’m going to feel alone, afraid. Then I’m going to feel accomplished, more confident, excited, strong, satisfied, hungry for more.

Yoga, weight lifting, dancing, walking more: Exercise = muscle soreness, potential injuries, weakness as the strength builds.

Dance lessons, Portuguese lessons: Personal Growth = commitment to practice, potential embarrassment if I get it wrong and someone sees me.

This is going to hurt. I’m going to be wildly uncomfortable and afraid. But as I’ve shown myself time and time again, I am a survivor. I’ve recovered from physical and emotional pain, I’ve achieved what others told me I’d never achieve. I’ve done what I wanted to do the way I wanted to do it, no matter how difficult my way turned out to be. So be it. I’ve got all I need to deal with what happens next. And for real, if it doesn’t kill me, then it’s all good.

I must always remember WHO I AM!

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And in the meantime, guess I need to get some crap done, huh? lol…after all it’s only fear.

12 thoughts on “Prepare to be in pain.

    1. Sadly enough, I am still sitting on my couch, hiding, lol. Sigh. It’s never as easy as “just do it”, eh? Perhaps we can help each other in this respect – a challenge just between us? Think about it and let me know. 🙂

      1. That would be good. I’m trying to make myself go the grocery at the moment. But that’s not fear – that just ugh. Not that the grocery is not one the central rings of Hell. It is. But. You know.

      2. You’ve survived the trip before and can do so again. No need in waiting around for the feeling to change, just take it with you. Keep the list simple so as not to overwhelm and buy just enough for seven to fourteen days (depending on your budget) – my list looks like this: dinner meat (enough to have left overs for lunch) for the week, dinner veggies (only the ones I like and are easy to cook), fruit for breakfast and snack, and then any incidentals I need. If you make it to the store today, buzz me and I’ll reciprocate by doing something I’ve been avoiding like the plague.

  1. Fear can be a good thing. It’s letting it overwhelm that makes things hard. Trust me, i know. I never used to be afraid, but these days it’s more prevalent, something to do with parenting maybe. Overcoming fear, or at least carrying on in spite of the fear, is what makes heroes….

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