Each death caused me to examine life. The one I was living, the one I wanted to live. My father’s (2/1999) prompted my divorce, my Aunt Joyce’s (1/2012) kicked off my intensive self-work, my Aunt Elaine’s (3/2015) triggered my spiritual self-work, and my Aunt Loretta’s (12/2015) provided the push to get back on track with my mission to lead a healthier life.
The workbook text is FINISHED and I’m happy with it. Of course I will run it through some copy edits, but the doubt induced rewriting is over. I’m excited for the retreat on the 19th; I’ve fleshed out the plan for the remainder of 2016 and am working on the next product in the program line – a day planner / journal that will be a companion piece to the workbook, both of which you’ll get when you become a member of the DIY Designers Guild (told you to be on the look out for a name change), which launches December 2016.
The work I’d started in May fell by the wayside as soon as I left for vacation in September. A series of additional life triggers put me back almost to the starting point, leaving me to slowly abandon my new practices through October and November. The first week of December had me willing to give up completely until January, but then…
My Aunt was diabetic -not sure which type. She died of a rare blood disease that is connected to diabetes. It is almost always a death sentence unless diagnosed right away. It is reported that her first symptoms showed up just a couple weeks prior to her death so no telling how long the disease had been manifesting.
Diabetes, high blood pressure, heart disease, and several forms of cancers run in my family (as do several forms of mental illness). When I started my lifestyle work, I wasn’t all that focused on the why, I just knew I was unhappy with my weight and wanted a change. Yes, well, I have recommitted with a more focused goal in mind – to do ALL that I can to mitigate my risk for all of those familial diseases. There are no guarantees, I get that. But I’ll be damned if I sit around doing nothing when some basic changes to my daily routine may help to stack the deck in my favor.
I am at a loss for words (still) when it comes to expressing how I feel – not just about my Aunt’s death but about mortality in general. I find the fear of what happens after life to be paralyzing. When I think about it, and sadly I think about it to the point of obsession some days, I get cold, anxious…ugh. But anyway, I am very grateful for the kind words you’ve posted, the virtual hugs and the offers to lend a sympathetic ear. I really appreciate it.