NaNo 2015 – I’m struggling. Between the two novels (The Other Woman, and Eat, Prey Blood), I’m on track. Unfortunately, on November 30th, I’m not going to combine the two in order to fudge a NaNo win. But – I want a finished 50K+ draft by November 30th. So, do I commit every evening this week to bouncing between the two in order to get my word counts up to date? Today’s word count “should” be 28,339 per manuscript. The one manuscript sits at 12,209 (16,130 due today to be on track), the other at 17,292 (11,047 for this one). Pretty paltry sums if I do say so myself. Again, not for lack of things to write, but instead, a lack of sitting down to get the words onto the virtual page. I’m feeling particularly anxious; I believe I could get both manuscripts up to snuff so to speak, in one sitting. Quite possibly tonight. Hmmmm. Will I go for it? I’m thinking I will. I need to block out the ‘real’ world for a bit. So much going on. The idea of putting on some good music, lighting a few fragrant candles, then closing my eyes and letting the words flow, sounds very inviting. A form of meditation that I am missing.
Speaking of meditation – do you have a ‘mindfulness’ practice in place? Doesn’t have to be mediation, perhaps it’s just a breathing ritual you perform, or a yoga stretch you do that brings you present in the moment, puts you in touch with your body (chi / chakras / breath) and leaves you clear headed enough to continue on. I don’t have anything like that. I have yoga that I do sporadically, I have a random bed time ritual that I follow when I remember why I need it. I breathe, but only consciously when I’m afraid / anxious or notice I’m holding my breath. I do that sometimes for no apparent reason. It’s weird. Anyway, I keep telling myself I want something more regimented. A ‘practice’ or ‘ritual’ that I follow no matter where, no matter what, no matter when.
Guess where that want leads me? Back to writing. When I immerse myself in the story, I go through a sort of meditative practice. It doesn’t always include music, or a scented candle, but it does involve closing my eyes and getting in sync with the words. There are a couple of deeper breaths and the opening of my mind to get beyond the petty worries and dramas of my usual thoughts. I listen for the otherworldly presence that shares my body / mind; it is from that presence, that other (but yet me), that the words flow.
Writing is that blissful state of unconsciousness that I imagine professional yogis and monks are able to find when they meditate or pray. I long to live in that state; to see the world through the words. Much the way Cypher saw the world through the Matrix code as it trickled down the monitor. Reducing it’s effect on me to that mindful, peaceful stillness that I feel when reading or writing. The written word expands my mind. The spoken word distorts it.
But that’s another blog post, eh?
Oh well. I’ve got a few other obligations to wrap my mind around before I can settle in and begin putting the story words to page. Before I can pray. Meditate. Escape.
I’ll let you know how my word count turns out, okay? Until then…
PS – WordPress. For the love of all that is written, will you PLEASE STOP CHANGING STUFF!!! There was nothing at all wrong with how things looked and functioned THIS MORNING!!! good grief. Can’t turn my back for a minute…where the hell is the spell check now? Why is the preview / publish box following me? And why are the tags and categories fill ins hidden?!! @_@ ARRRRGGGGHHHH!!!!!