Do These Fangs Make Me Look Fat?

Travel back with me for a minute if you will.  1979, the movie Dracula hits the theaters starring the oh so sexy, Frank Langella.

Frank Langella as Dracula

I’d been in love with the Dracula mythos for as long as I could remember. I wanted to be a vampire. I figured I’d feed on criminals, ne’er-do-wells and the like. Oh, and all the evil kids who were bullying me at the time.  It didn’t cross my mind then that I’d forever be a seven-year old, for some reason I thought I’d age right up until my mid twenties, then I’d stop and live at that point forever. Needless to say, real life stepped in but that didn’t stop me from pretending.

Halloween, 1993
Halloween, 1993

I’ve been some form of vampire every Halloween since the age of 18.

Films like The Hunger, The Lost Boys, and Near Dark added fuel to the fire. Then this happened…

That same year…

Can you guess which movie vampires inspired this look?
Not quite ‘Blade’, but definitely Blade-esque 🙂 wouldn’t you say?

I happened to spend a Halloween in New Orleans around this same time. Met a guy who had fangs. They were the most natural looking I’d come across outside of the movies. I asked, of course, and he explained that a buddy of his who was in dental school made them for him. I started wishing for friends in dental school.  Didn’t happen. Dag nabbit.

But okay, not one to give up on a dream, I kept hope alive that one day I’d be able to afford to have cosmetic dentistry done that would result in some fangage of my own.

(Manifestation, y’all. It’s not an over night kind of thing, but it does happen)

One of my daughter’s friends comes over the other night and she’s got fangs. Turns small-vampire-teethout, she got them from Kaos Kustom Fangs (slightly put off by the almost triple K deal there but working hard on not seeing racism in EVERYTHING). Dude uses dental grade materials and hand-shapes the fangs to fit your mouth. Basically, he makes some of the most natural looking caps – with pointy tips 🙂 – you could imagine. Nothing like those silly, plastic, ill-fitting deals you find in the costume shops this time of year.

All of that to say…

Starter set.
Starter set.

I’ve been fanged!

I’m so happy.

5 thoughts on “Do These Fangs Make Me Look Fat?

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