I haven’t slept through the night consistently for 21 years, so far

Cruel twist of parenthood – at least for me.  That habit of waking every so many hours to feed the micro-human (as well as diaper changes, chasing out the monsters after a stray nightmare or two, etc.) remains intact despite said micro now being into the macro stages.  Long about the twelfth year or so it was suggested, by whom I don’t remember, that I go see an “herbal doctor” as my condition might best be served by utilizing homeopathic remedies.  Uh huh. I believe my initial visit cost around sixty dollars, because of course my insurance was having nothing to do with anything that didn’t have me sitting down with a recognized MD.  I don’t remember the length of the visit but I do remember the ‘doctor’ diagnosed me with being hyper-vigilant.  When it was all said and done, I had a prescription for some ‘pills’ and a powder deal I was to put into some tea.  The pills looked like little, round Vitamin E capsules (much like the tiny dots of Vitamin D I take now) and there were a little over twenty or so in the bottle. All of that plus the powder packet cost one-hundred and twenty dollars.  I was supposed to re-up my prescription every month.

Yes, I laughed just like this when I heard the "each month" part.
Yes, I laughed just like this when I heard the “each month” part.

Perhaps, had the powder / pill deal worked, I might have stopped laughing and found a way to drop $120 bucks every month, but alas, nothing changed.

Life happened and here we are, several years later and I still find myself waking at least twice a night or once, well before I’m due to get up and begin the day.  I am no longer falling asleep at red lights or dozing off in rush hour traffic so there’s a plus, I suppose.

Nope, instead, I am spending most days, or should that be daze(d), feeling slightly disconnected from reality. I tend to be on the fringes most times anyway, but mostly that feeling is in my head. With the pro-longed sleep deprivation, the feeling is seeping out into the rest of my body creating a rift between it and my thoughts.  Whoa. See, happened in that sentence.  I’m typing what I think is a coherent thought but when I go back and read it, well…not so coherent after all.

Get it together!
Get it together!

*ahem* Whew.

I don’t really have a point to this post. I just had to get the words out.  When all else goes wonky in my head, the words are always there, my constant companions.  The one consistent thing in my life save being alive.  I’m still doing that, so there’s some more good news, eh?  🙂

8 thoughts on “I haven’t slept through the night consistently for 21 years, so far

  1. I work night shift so my sleeping habits are a bit scattered too. I find lavender oil works wonders for me. As does Nyquil of course, but I don’t like to use the latter too much. Young Living essential oils are great. They are a little more expensive than some others but they are 100% pure so they are safe to use directly on the skin. And one bottle lasts for MONTHS, even a year or more, depending on how much you use it, because a drop or two is sufficient for each use. I also take GABA which my therapist recommended. You can find it at most grocery stores or pharmacies & it’s not very expensive.

    1. I was hoping someone would have some advice. I’ve heard good things about Lavender oil so will be trying some this weekend. Never heard of the GABA so I’ll read up on it some more. Thank you so much. 🙂

  2. You’re not alone. I haven’t had more than four to five hours at most for the last thirteen years. Last few months it’s been about two to three hours. I’m afraid I don’t have any advice. Sex I guess? Working out before bed to the point of collapse?

    1. LOL – both sex and working out to exhaustion are good and indeed helpful in putting me to sleep, but neither offer much by the way of keeping me asleep. Unless I do one or (wouldn’t it be great) both upon waking in the middle of the night. But now that I think about it, I was attempting to go to the gym the night I fell off my stairs and put the break in my ankle so…might just have to find a way to stick to the sex. Now, to find a sleep therapist who provides that as a treatment, LOL. 😉

  3. Get some melatonin, love. I take it fifteen minutes before I’m ready to knock out. I used it regularly for a few weeks and I’m regulated now. Every now and then I need it, usually on days when I’ve had caffeine. It helps!

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