If all you’re offering me is dick (don’t want to date, don’t have time to date, aren’t emotionally available, are unhappily married and just looking for an outlet for your physical needs, etc.) then don’t feel slighted when all I give is pussy. After all, you’re offering me the very least of yourself (not a size reference, I promise). It keeps us on even footing so to speak if I give you the least of me as well.
Let’s start with those late night, booty calls. Yeah, won’t be any of those. You’ve got things to do and so have I, so we’ll be needing our beauty rest. Better to schedule an early evening drive through – call first of course. For convenience sake, we’ll meet at my place. That way you don’t have to worry about anyone seeing me coming in and out of your place. I completely understand how important it is for you to keep up appearances – why else can we not be seen in public at a restaurant or movie theater?
It’ll be important to have the condom readily available, best to have it in hand so there’s no time lost looking for it once the clothes are off. Don’t worry about having to make conversation. Just come on in and head to the guest bedroom. We’ll drop trou and have at it. Since time is so limited, we’ll be sticking to plain sex. No blow jobs, fancy positions or accessories. Missionary should suffice. I’ll be sure to hold still and be quiet so you can get your rocks off without interruption.
As soon as you’re done, I expect you to get up and be on your way fairly quickly. Don’t want you to have to wait while I go get you a warm, wet wash cloth or turn on the water for you to take a quick shower. I don’t want to take up any more of the precious few minutes you took to jack off using my body instead of your hand. So, I suppose, along with the condom, you should be sure to have a moist towel-ette so you can wipe off before putting your clothes on. You see, the faster you get dressed and leave, the sooner you can get back to doing all the important things you have time for.
Keeps things uncomplicated that way don’t you think?