Afternoon quickie to wet your appetite.

Dreamt I was proposed to.  It went something like this:

 

“Wait, don’t tell me, you’ve met the woman of your dreams and you called to tell me because for some reason you think I really want to hear that you’re happy, and in love, but not with me.

“No, I…”

“Okay, then you’ve called to tell me you’re fed up with this one horse town and you’re moving to some fabulous new place where the excitement never ends and you’re sure to meet the love of your life.”

“Look, will you just shut up a minute so I can tell you.  And what is this sick obsession you have with me finding the love of my life and it isn’t you?”

“Because, you’ve shown me in so many ways that I’m not The ONE.  I just always assume the worst when you take the time to call me.”

“So, I can’t call you just to see how your day is going?  Or because I miss you and want to hear your voice?”

“Nope.”

“Why not?”

“That’s something you’d do if you were in love with me.  And you’re not.  You said so.”

“What if I was wrong?”

Stunned silence.

“Hello?”

“What do you mean, what if you were wrong?  You’re never wrong, remember.”

“You’re just going to keep throwing my past words back at me aren’t you?”

“Yes.  Yes I am. They’re my only defense.”

“Defense against what?”

“Against what I’m afraid I really feel for you and what I am extremely afraid to ever believe you might just be feeling for me.  You see, if I hang on to the belief you don’t, couldn’t, won’t ever, love me the way I want, then I’m not in danger of ever really falling in love with you, thus sparing my feelings from any further crushing.”

“So, if I asked you to marry me, you’d really freak out huh?”

“You’d have to be kidding.”

“Why?”

“Aside from the fact you swore up and down you’d NEVER do that, aside from the fact that you know I’m allergic to the idea of living with anyone for longer than three or four days at a time.  Aside from the fact that I don’t know if I can trust you not to get bored and end up sleeping with the sexy, single neighbor who moved in just a month after we did – you know the one you just happened to run into that afternoon as she was coming home from her yoga class and invited to the housewarming and then couldn’t seem to shake her barely casual flirtations you spent the next two weeks trying to convince me meant nothing even though she’s been constantly asking you to come over and help her with this and that because of course she’s single and weak and helpless.”

“You really are a bundle of hidden insecurity aren’t you?”

“Yes!  See. That’s why you’d have to be kidding about marrying me.  There’s no way you’re ever going to be able to deal with all of my personalities.  I may look all fierce and strong and independent and as if I have no feelings but that’s a clever mask; just one of the many personalities I adopt to hide the fact that deep down in here is one scared little kid still.”

“I happen to know that little kid pretty well and I think she’s adorable and just needs some reassurance.”

“But can you give her that?  With your track record, I just don’t see it happening.  She needs to be number one and quite frankly, since none of us have ever been number one in any man’s life, we freakin’ don’t know what that even means so you might very well be feeling that way but we’ll never recognize it.”

“I think you need to calm down.  Sounds as if you’re about to hyperventilate.”

“Of course I’m about to hyperventilate.  You just asked me to marry you.  Do you know what that means to us?”

“Um, no.  And by ‘us’ do you mean you and all your personalities?”

“Of course I do silly.  Who else would I be talking about?  If you marry me, you get all of us.”

The dream ended shortly after that.  As I sit here thinking about it, I realize what I’m hearing is not what my reaction would be, but what Charise’s reaction to Jason is going to be when he pops the question in the sequel to Hello Diva.  That’s right.  Sequel.  I LOVE being a writer!

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